Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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