did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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