What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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