There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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