Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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