She is in my trunk
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
