You smell like stripper and shame
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
A+ Viking dick
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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