I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize