ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
