yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
