I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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