Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.

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(513): View more from Ohio

why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...

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(578): View more from

drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm

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(562): View more from California

I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?

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(912): View more from Georgia

No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.

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(914): View more from New York

i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!

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