I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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