I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think your dad took our porno
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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