We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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