"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Enjoy the penises
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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