I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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