I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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