If i come over, it means nothing
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize