brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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