oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
