u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
