Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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