I am in a vortex of obligation.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
