I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
