okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
