he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize