apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize