So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
