do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
