i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
