Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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