feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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