I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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