I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
