I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
