So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
