He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
