i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
