haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
