I CAN MOONWALK!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
