Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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