I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
