After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just high enough for therapy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
