i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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