mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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