You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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