end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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