after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
