Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
