He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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