I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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