$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Non-Jews are for practice
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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