I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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