Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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