whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She's JV to your varsity
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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