Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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